Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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