doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
