How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
