R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
