Im at strip club and am horny
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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