I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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