i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
