How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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