So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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