she was so not down for the gang bang
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm too high and old for this...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
