Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
