Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
God, I missed his penis.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
