You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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