all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
