Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
