Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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