i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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