i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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