just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
