I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
