i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
