wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
