bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
