wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
