I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is Oprah even human
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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