What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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