Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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