we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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