as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
