you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
