Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
