69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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