I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
