I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
