There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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