I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize