even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
