Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
