on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
my liver is dry heaving
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize