found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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