I'm really into asian looking animals
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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