he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
