chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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