the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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