My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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