Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
