i just google imaged poop.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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