they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
