What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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