Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.