Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
