My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize