and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
