Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
