Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Randomize
