you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
