They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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