Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
