That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
