I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize