Got a toothbrush?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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